HOW TO BE AN AUDIAN: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO EXISTING

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HOW TO BE AN AUDIAN: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO EXISTING

Post by V on Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:12 pm

As you may or may not have noticed by now, Auda is a pretty freaky place, yo. Inevitably, it is also filled with some pretty weird people. Who may wear some pretty weird things. And are probably called...ridiculous things. What follows is a helpful guide on how to Audian.

Naming Conventions:

There are four usual ways to find a name for your new childspawn in Auda.

1. Name it after a meme. Seriously. Pick one.

2. Open a dictionary and pick a word at random.

3. Name it something that isn't really a name.

4. Open your kitchen closet and pick something off the shelf. Read the ingredients list. Pick something pretty.

Opinions vary as to whether the last three are in any way different from one another.

Appearance:

Most Audians average out on the rather short side of things. To exceed 5'7"is pretty bizarre. They are also remarkably thin, mostly as a result of the lack of proper foodstuffs to gorge their faces on.

Audians tend to be on the pale end of the colour spectrum, since they do not have a sun that is at anytime visible. Depending on whether or not they happen to be suffering from some kind of illness, this varies from a sort of sickly yellowish pale to an underfed whitish pale. This can also vary slightly depending on how mired in filth you are.

Clothing is either government issued or homemade. Government issued clothing is all black- black turtleneck, black skinny jeans, black combat boots- and is accompanied by a white plastic mask that takes a while to break in. While the breaking in process is occurring, it is not unusual for the mask to leave cuts on the side of ones face.

Homemade clothing tends to be a bit... more...variant. Colours are patchwork often, unless someone has done some serious collecting and like... made something completely out of bottlecaps or something like that. Most colours have faded after years of wear. Clothing materials vary from... duct tape to cardboard to actual fabric, to seatbelts... to.. anything you can feasibly make into clothes.

Shoes tend to still be combat boots where attainable, though flipflops made of tire rubber aren't unusual in the poorer parts of town... and if you're really desperate to not get rubble ground into your feet... cardboard is something that is useable.

Hair tends to be a natural colour, typically tending towards browns or blacks, blonde isn't unnatural though it is harder to come by, ginger is rare and disliked. If you would like to artificially colour your hair, you would probably best do that with sharpies. It's not SUPER permanent... but Internet knows the next time you're actually going to wash your hair. Haircuts tend to be all done at home and are supremely lacking in any kind of skill. Most often it's kinda like: Make ponytail. Apply kitchen knife. DONE.

That should be all... though any specific questions can be asked... and will be answered yo.





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