The Car Crash~

We were just…heading toward the movie theatre. It was supposed to be a normal day. Kadian and I hanging out, like usual. Us making fun of the movie we were watching, her squishing random things, and me just…watching her. Watching her is one of my favorite things to do…and now…I might not be able to tell her that. Tell her just how crazy I am about her.

So we both got into the car, talking about squishing heads. You might think that’s weird, but it’s completely normal for us. …She looks so cute when talking about violence and evil bags of dictionaries…

But I guess her cuteness was my downfall. I was staring at her, and not paying attention.

It’s my fault. My fault that we ran into that truck. What if she dies? She can’t die. She just…I’d hate myself. Kadian doesn’t deserve to die.

I don’t remember much. One second I was staring at her, the next that truck ran a red light and zoomed right in front of us. I tried turning the car away. Tried slamming on the breaks, and even threw myself in front of Kadian, as if that would protect her. Then all I remember next is laying in that car, surrounded by broken glass, blood, and my unconscious childhood friend. I think someone called the cops, because I heard sirens. The last thing I saw was Kadian…blood streaming from her forehead. I tried calling her name, and maybe tried reaching out to her. But I couldn’t. My voice was too distant, and the farther I reached, the farther away she got. Then I blacked out.

And then that weird stuff happened, usually only talked about in movies. My life flashed before my eyes.

First time Kadian and I met. We were five. Our mothers both happened to go to the park, and we were fighting over a shovel in some sort of sand pit. She won by throwing sand in my eye.

A few years later, she and I were in first grade. I was being obnoxious. Chasing her and her friends around, while yelling stuff like “Girls are boogers”. First grade humour, I guess.

Second grade. We paired up to grow a flower for science class. We both failed and the flower died, but that was the day we became friends. It’s funny how kids can become close over a dead flower.

Fourth grade. Some punk named Billy was messing with her, pulling on her hair. I socked him in the face, give him a black eye. …He broke my nose.

Some other grades passed, and then we were in seventh. We had both become best friends in elementary school, and then some of the other kids started yelling rumours. They would say that she and I were dating. So, just to prove that we weren’t, we went out and dated some people. She got Gary Thomas and I got Suzanne Killion. That date was the day when I finally realized…I don’t want any other girl…I want Kadian.

Of course, then came the jealousy. Every time I saw her and Gary together, I just…felt angry. It was even worse with all my guy hormones.

Her and Gary were together for about a year, then they broke it off because he had to move away to Wisconsin or something. Kadian was sad, so I had to cheer her up with cookies, and even got my mom to take us to the town carnival. I got close to telling her how I feel that day. But all I could think about was if she didn’t feel the same way, then our friendship would just be totally ruined. So I stayed quiet.

Many other things flashed by. The day I got Mojo, the day she got her first tattoo. It seems that every important day of my life had her in it.
And I ruined it all. If only I was paying more attention to the road and not drooling over her…

I finally woke up, and her name was the first thing out of my mouth. “Kai…” I murmured, and saw my mother rush over to me.
“Austin!” she breathed, her toe relieved. She gave me a light hug, causing me to wince.

“M-Mom. Mom. Where is she?” I replied, trying to return the hug, but only one of my arms went around her. My right arm just sorta…twitched. I glanced down at it, seeing a cast. Oh. Crap. My arm is broken. Must be when I tried saving Kadian. I look around at where I am, and see that I’m in a hospital room, all kinds of weird machines hooked around me.

I tried sitting up, only to have my mom gently push me back down. “…Kadian…she’s…uhm…” her voice just trailed off, and I knew something was up.
I suddenly felt pure panic. No. She can’t be dead. Not because of me. I didn’t even get the guts to tell her yet. I felt this funny feeling in my eyes, and started…crying. I’m not muh of a crier, because that’s..well…not really guylike. But I couldn’t stop. Tears just…flooded from my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them, no matter how hard I tried.

I just stared at mom emptily, not really wanting her to continue.

“…Oh, Austin,” she said quickly, grabbing a tissue and wiping my face off. “She’s alive. She’s just…she’s in a coma.”

Damn it. A coma? All I know about comas is that someone sleeps for a really long time, and that…they don’t always wake up.

“C-Coma?” I ask dryly, staring up at the ceiling. I haven’t cried in front of my mom since I was about sixish. So…this is weird.
She slowly nodded. “Yes…a coma. She suffered some head trauma. But she’ll be better soon.”

I listened, but only halfway. All I could think of was just how bad I had screwed things up. Maybe if we didn’t go to the movies, or just put it off for a day…maybe if I actually paid attention to things…then it would just be another normal day.

And all that time while I was in that hospital, I couldn’t stop the freaking crying. It’s not like I was making any noise, either. I just…felt a bunch of endless tears slipping down my cheeks, but I stayed silent. Too lost in my thoughts.

“I have to see her…”