Homestuck: Character Edition

OP: Radioactivecylinders
OP: Thosedo notsound verysafe
OP: Butwhatever yousay

After putting all the machines in GC's room, you try to figure out what to do. You aren't in the game yet, and as such, you find that you have plenty of time to mess around with GC's things. You click on a random piece of furniture, and pick it up. You stare at the screen for a good minute, contemplating the possibilities. In your thinking, you manage to drop the furniture, nearly crushing your friend in the process.

OP: Ohthat probablywas notavery smartidea
OP: Iwill stopmessing aroundwith thingsnow
OP: Sowhat exactlydothose machinesdo

1. Their name: Danae Blake
2. Their Pesterchum Account name: None yet
3. Their manner of typing on Pesterchum: doesntrealy get much of teh typeing stuff so probs type a bunch lik this cause who need spell check and that stuff

Nervously fiddle with your shirt.

That's silly. Why would you mess with your shirt? You're getting ready to eat dinner, not fight anything. What kind of word is fiddle anyways?

You ponder if fiddle is a real word.

You wonder if ponder is a real word.

You decide that both are and that you have just wasted time thinking about this. You could have spent this time stalking your boyfriend as he prepared stuff.
No. You're not a stalker. You decide not to use that word again.

>Danae: Go stalk Peter

No. You refuse to 'stalk' Peter. Why would you stalk your boyfriend? That would be rude.

>Danae: Just do it.

But-

>Danae: NOW.

You're upset at the use of that word, but you go do it anyways.

> ==>

Show Dialoglog:

> Peter: Go to Izzy's apartment.

You head out for Izzy's apartment.

> Peter: Be Izzy.

You are now Izzy.

> Izzy: Go to laptop.

There's no way Peter could be at your apartment yet! You might as well just hang around until then.

Oh look, it's Danae.

> Izzy: Accost.

You accost Danae.

Show Dialoglog:

> Danae: Be accosted by Izzy.

You are accosted by Izzy.

Show Dialoglog:

((Note: As you might've guessed, Ana and I did that dialogue ahead of time for her post. You might want to do the same. It makes things a lot easier!))


> Izzy: Show Danae what to do.

You take Danae over to your laptop.

Show Dialoglog:

> Izzy: Do science.

You leave to do science. Everybody had better cover their eyes, because it's going to be...

BLINDING.

> Danae: Stare at the computer and pretend you know what you're doing.

That's stupid. Of course you know what you are doing. It's not like you grew up under a rock or anything. You wonder if a stone ceiling counts as a rock.

Psssh, no. You totally know how to work this computer.

> Danae: Set up the game.

You put in the disks and set up the game using the instructions that Izzy left you. You see a screen telling you to hit enter. You also see a thing that says Pesterchum, this must be the thing that Izzy told you about. After several minutes of exploring you figure out how to set up an account for yourself, using the name curiousCarnation.

You sit there marveling over the awesomeness that is you.

> Izzy: Be Peter.

You're too busy doing science to be Peter!

Peter just bees himself.

> Peter: Arrive at Izzy's apartment.

You arrive at Izzy's apartment. Thankfully, she lives nearby. Actually, she got the apartment specifically so she could have a cheap place to live near the research center. Not that she lives here all the time. She visits her home plane frequently and spends a lot of time with her family.

Saying you aren't jealous would be a lie.

> Peter: Push the thoughts aside and get to the computer already.

You sigh and walk over to the computer.

> Peter: Start up the game.

You sit down and look for the game disk. Wait a minute, there are two disks here. Which one are you supposed to use?

You recall Izzy saying she'd direct you via chat client.

> Peter: Open the chat client.

You click on the client. After further clicking, you set up an account with the username thermiteTonality. Yeah, you're not all that creative. You know.

> Peter: Pester Izzy.

You figure you'll be pestering the account on both this computer and the laptop, but...you think it'll work? You don't see why it wouldn't, anyway.

Show Pesterlog:

>Evade.

You dive roll away from the chair that abruptly dropped itself just where you had been moments before.

GC: expletiving expletives. the crap is wrong with you.

>Answer the blue text's question.

He just nearly dropped FURNITURE on your head! You're really going to just forget that and answer his questions?!?

You suppouse that that may be best considering the possibility of more flying furniture. That crap is deadly.

GC: it makes crap. Important crap.
GC: and a magic floating magigger.
GC: beyond that. no idea.
GC: and never ever throw that crap ever again.

OP: beglad idid nothityou
OP: itcould havebeen alot worseifi wasnot quicker
OP: youshould begrateful
OP: notangry
OP: isaid iwould stopanyway

You don't understand why GC is so mad at you. You didn't let anything horrible happen.

OP: atleast thecrap isimportant
OP: right

You mess around with the controls for awhile, trying to figure out how to pester Peter using the account. You then realize that it wouldn't matter considering that with you limited knowledge of reading, you are able to figure out that you need his chumhandle in order to contact him.

You consider headdesking.

Just as you are about to do this, there is a noise. You also notice a blinking bar thing at the bottom of your screen. Someone is pestering you, rather, pestering Izzy.

> Danae: Answer chum.

What? No, that would be rude. They must be Izzy's chum, after all , this is her computer.

> Danae: Answer chum anyways. Be a snoop.

You refuse to.

> Danae: Answer it!

Alright! Alright! No need to yell. You get it. You reluctantly open up the window and answer chum.

Show Pesterlog:

> TG: Deal with imps.

> Aggrieve
> Abjure
> Abscond
> Accidentally

> TG: Accidentally the imps

You accidentally Felix the Angst-Ridden Rhinoceros in a room full of imps. Again. You think you would have learned by now. However, it deals with the imps and now there's grist all over the place.

> Enjoy saying the word 'grist'

That hasn't suddenly become a sensible course of action, you know.

> Felix: Level up!

After killing all those imps you level up to the level of Recalcitrant Pachyderm!
Your mangrit, already through the roof, gets even higher. Your porcelain porkhollow is receiving boondollars like tomorrow isn't a thing.

> Wendy: Level up!

For killing a few imps and facilitating Felix, you level up to the acclaimed level of Gutsy Assistant!
That's... That's actually quite demeaning.

> Wendy: Respond to black text

TG: isnt thatt tht meme thing
TG: U got a glowy dog thingy
TG: coolio
TG: U RELLY need to get on wit Ur stuf
TG: im dropin teh card

> Wendy: Deploy pre-punched card

Yeah, that. You do that thing with the other thing and now there's a pre-punched card in TA's house.

Show Pesterlog:

> [S] Peter: Enter.

You insert the disk, hit enter, and proceed to watch the most trippy loading screen you've ever seen. Not that you've seen too many loading screens.

You can't place it, but something feels...different now. You're not sure if it's your bonder sense or your imagination, though.

> Peter: Pester Danae.

Show Pesterlog:

TA: ...4dv1c3 d0g... y34h...
TA: ... ...uhm. ...wh473v3n1s 7h1s... uh...7h1ngy...
TA: ...wh47 d0 1 d0 w17h 17?

>Captchalogue Captchalogue card.

Because that makes sense. You do it anyway.

>Retrieve arms.

...You refuse to go get that particular arm. The situation hardly calls for it. Besides, your work pistol should be fine for...wait you aren't going to have to kill anything.. are you? this is a videogame about...

You realise you don't have a very firm idea of what exactly the game is about. This makes you ponder whether you will need both arms or not.

You decide that you will not retrieve the arm, since you already have one.

>Be the green text.

But Wendy is the green text.

>Fine then. Be the Olive text.

The Olive text doesn't want you being itself. It's being itself.

> Apologise to the blue text.

Why? He could have killed you!

You decide that alright, yeah. Maybe it would be a nice thing to apologise... at least keep him from throwing more crap accidentally.

Fine.

GC: sorry. for being. like i was.
GC: no biggie.
GC: yeah. these machiney dos are uhm.
GC: they.
GC: something and a glowing orb.
GC: i don't actually really totally know. but you can make crap i think.
GC: maybe.

Be the green text

You be the green text.
...That can't be grammatical, surely.

TG: U ned to put the card in teh slot an carv teh thingy
TG: th thingy!
TG: Importqnt!

Be the olive text

What does that even mean?

Fine. Respond to the olive text.

TG: hey ther GC
TG: this place is fillin up wit imps
TG U gunna halp me?

GC: uh. ok. what can i do.
GC: i mean. i can't just teleport over and chuck norris the crap out of those dudes.
GC: i mean. there isn't a button for that.
GC: i'll help if you tell me how.

You scroll through your available thingies to drop on the imps heads, but can't easily see how to weaponise one. Additionally, you wanna save your grist for later gristy endeavors. This could be an issue.

Perhaps you could weaponise a sofa or something. You contemplate that.

Be the awkward text.

TA: ...uh...0k...3r...uhm...l3mm3 jus7...
TA: 0k.

Go downstairs.

What. No. You can't go downstairs, your sister is there and---

Wait. Your sister is down there with the thingy you need to put the card and the radioactive thing in isn't she?

Go in spite of her.

...No.

TA: ...uhm...1 c4n'7r34lly...d0 7h47...uhm...b3c4us3 0f...my s1s73r...

Be the green text

You are now the green text.

Respond to the olive text

TG: drop a sofa on em or sumthin
TG: its impcrazy all up in her

Respond to the awkward text

TG: hokay
TG: imma dstract her
TG: oops

Rain squishy demise upon imps.

...What. That sounds silly. You decide that squishy demise would make a horrible death metal band, and then proceed to bang the crap out of the imps with the aforementioned sofa. You may or may not have lain +10 damage to nearby furniture in the process...but... oh well.

GC: sorry if i broke any important crap.
GC: stupid little buggers.

Be the awkward text.

The awkward text just bees himself.

Go downstairs RIGHT NOW.

You heard a horrible crash from downstairs and the whole place kinda shook. You wonder what kind of a mess has been made of your living room now.

Feeling awful about the impending discovery, you tread carefully on the unsecured planks down your stairs. You've meant to fix those for years, but never got around to it.

As you get to the bottom of the stairs, you realise that a substansial amount of a wall that you share with the neighbours has been knocked over, making it somewhat impossible to get to your living room.

At first you worry about this as an inconvenience, since then you won't be able to get to that thingy you wanted to get to that you could put the card into and the bizarre radioactive can. ...However after a moment, it occurs to you that you've been standing there for several minutes and your sister hasn't complained once. ...This is a clear issue.

TA: ... ...4n4?

There is a notable lack of reply. This is starting to really freak you out.

Put the pieces together, man.

You come to the conclusion based on the blood that you hadn't noticed on the floor, that your sister is submerged in the rubble from the wall.

Compartmentalise so that you can deal with your loss at a later date.

... ... ...You're kidding right.

Right?

You proceed to have a bit of a short circuit right there. She was the only reason you stayed alive. She was the only reason...the only reason for anything really. She may not have been...NICE, however...she was your sister.

TA: ...wh47 d1d y0u d0.

TA: bu7...wh47... ...h0w...

Try not to have an episode while someone is watching you on their computer screen?

That...that would be a bit hard at this point quite honestly. ...You don't really know how you could conceal your upset at this point, as you've kinda digressed into hysterics there.

TA: ...7h47...my s1s73r... ... ...

TA: ... ...bu7... ...bu7...

You proceed with your mini break down right there, kind of flipping out in a mildly awkward way. You are highly upset about the sudden and tragic loss of your sibling, and are now trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that you do not think that you actually have a valid reason to live without her, as far as you know.

TA: ... ...1m s0rry...1...

...Retrieve Arms...---what no. Do not retrieve arms.

You actually would feel kinda weird doing that with someone watching you, but... uh. er. You really feel awful at the moment and... you kinda just want to... maybe go upstairs and get the arms and just... take a moment.

You go upstairs shakily, displacing some actual stairs and clumsily pull the pistol out from under your bed.

Seriously, put that away right now.

...But... the only reason you stayed alive was for her. So...logically speaking...

Show Pesterlog:

> Danae: Be smart.

You...what? You're already smart. How can you be smarter?

> Danae: Be smarter.

You attempt being smarter. You fail. How are you supposed to be smarter? You are not understanding this. You ponder why you are wondering about this anyway.

You once again ponder the word ponder.

Again you waste time deciding that ponder is indeed a word.

> Danae: Be smarter.

You still don't understand.

> Danae: Install the disk.

Oh. Well then. Why didn't you say that in the first place?

You put in the disk and watch the screen do weird things. You see Peter.

> Danae: Spaz.

You will do no such thing. You flail for a moment instead and stare at Peter.

> Danae: Pester Peter about this.

You Pester Peter.

Show Pesterlog:

> Danae: See wha th instuins sed.

They do not say anything else.

> Danae: Flail again.

No! You have no reason to.

You pester Peter again.

Show Pesterlog:

> Danae: Drop mysterious machine in with Peter.

You notice there is no room for the machine. You decide to move the bed.

The bed goes through the wall. Oops.

Truth wrote:Okay, no.

TG: stop that
TG: what are you doing
TG: NO DO NOT
TG: SERIOUSLY

TA: ... ...bu7...

Reevaluate your decisions...?

You stare down at the pistol in your hand for a minute or so. What reasons do you really have to keep being here...? Your sister....dead. Parents...Dead. Job...useless with no one to keep alive. House... now empty except for you. You are utterly alone in this place. ...Correction. You and your sister's corpse and someone watching you from the internet are utterly alone in this place.

...Because that's more comforting to think about.

Stop shaking uncontrollably and get back to the important things in life, dude.

You realise how shaky you really are. ...uhm. Erm. ...so. This is...

Part of you is kind of upset that you'r going through all this while someone else is watching from another screen...but at the same time, if you could get yourself to stop having an attack of some kind then, well...clearly you would.

TA: ... ...s0rry... 1... 1'm s0rry... ...7h1s... 1'm s0rry...

Does this mean that you can put the arms away and go back to doing productive things...?

... ...That was sensitive...

==>

Huh. What was that noise?

Spoiler:

Investigate noises

Erm... Okay.
...What the hell is that?

Panic.

Spoiler: